What part of 'NO' don't you understand?

My friend (who shall remain nameless) was out for dinner with another friend, both of whom are married. They meet this man at the bar while waiting for their table. They chatted for a bit and he told them how he was single and just has not found the right women as of yet. My friend thought he was nice and suggested setting him up with me. She took his card and emailed me the information. Since I have been single for a while and have just not meet 'the one' that does it for me I decided what the heck. I mean you never know, stranger things have happened right?

So after a series of emails and phone tag situations me and Mr. C finally touched base. I talked to him on a Saturday and told him I would meet him for a drink later that week – preferably Tuesday or Wednesday, not to coincide with my Monday night yoga class J we talked on Monday and I told him Wednesday worked best for me. We agreed to meet around 5:30 at Echo in Red Bank. Since this was a blind date I did not know what to expect.

So went there, meet him not exactly my type – looked like a much 'older' 37, but hell you never know. So I ordered my drink Grey Goose and tonic and he made some kind of comment about my drink. He was drinking wine, explained to me that he likes to drink wine when he is with a lady, but beer with the guys. So we drank and talked a bit and he asked if I wanted to order an appetizer. I asked him want he liked and he said 'get anything you want' when I suggested ordering the sampler ($30) he was like "that might be too much". So I said ok how about the spring rolls and the BBQ shrimp – he seemed kind of hesitant, I told him the spring rolls would probably not be enough. So he said ok I ordered the appetizers, and then we made small talk. He seemed a little strange to me, asked some questions that where – well questionable…. He asked me if I was into drugs – like coke or heroin, and then implied he still smoked pot on a regular basis. I told him I am not into drugs at all and that they were not my thing. In addition during our 'date' he went to the bathroom twice and was gone for quite awhile which led me to think he either has a digestive problem or was snorting or shooting up in the bathroom, especially when he came back and seemed much more talkative and touchy-feely. But I blew it off as nervousness.

The date ended and before I headed home he asked if I would go out with him again and I said ‘sure’. So he kissed my cheek and we each went home.

The next day he sent a txt message to my phone “Had fun, have a great day :) are you interested in going forward, yes?” this was sent at 12:05 pm. I had a busy day and did not see this txt until leaving work on my way to yoga. While in my yoga class I received another txt from him at 6:15 pm “U thinking or just busy? I txted u at 12 noon” Did not respond to this because I was motified - who does that after just meeting a person?

Then the next morning at 9:40 am another txt “Hey u get my txts? Or not." I sent him back a text saying “I was busy and I am thinking No”. Received a txt back “Huh, OK care 2 let me know why? Just thought you said u wanted 2”. At this point I was tired of the txt messages, but did not want to speak to him in person. So I sent him this email:

“C,

I thought I should explain this in a better way then over a text message. I thought you were nice and would go out with you again. However, I am an extremely independent person and my career, part time school, and full social life keeps me very busy, sometimes I do not respond to text messages or phone calls immediately. I do not carry my cell around with me at work, sometimes I don't look at it all day. And when you sent the message last night questioning why i did not respond to you, it freaked me out. I don't do well with people questioning my whereabouts and quite frankly I just meet you and if you are this persistent after an initial meeting, I just don't feel it would work with my lifestyle. Good luck to you though, you seem like a nice person.

A”

Received this email back:

“i am extremely busy with my lifestyle too and by no means did i mean to question your whereabouts. thats silly talk, i can care less where or what you where doing it's none of my business nor mine to you, wasn't asking that, just was curious if we both had the same feeling is all. think you jumped the gun alittle on me i am not the possessive type nor the up you but type sorry bad read on that just was looking for a quick resp. on the positive side and was a little impatient but didn't think it warranted you to freak out . Do you want to rethink that one or did you give up already? I think we can work through that misunderstanding no biggie on my end. Good company is hard to find and i really want to get to know you better i hope you agree ."

I did not respond and received this email later that day:
“hey just call me prefer or txt me your response as to going forward whenever you can i won't txt or call until you let me know if we are gonna hang again, because i won't see my work email til mon., leaving for the day for a appt. fri 3pm. :)”

Did not respond and received a phone call on Sunday – he left a voicemail asking me to call him. I ignored it, once again.... i thought I made myself clear with the first email.

Got this email on Monday:
“did you get my email fri.?”

Did not respond and received another voicemail about 5:30 pm Monday night. He is basically begging me to call him and give him ‘2 minutes’ Like if I did not already think he was psycho he would be able to convince me to go out with him again.

Did not respond and he called again on Monday about 9pm – did not leave a voicemail.

Tuesday morning I decided to send him another email explaining that I am not interested. I could not bear to talk to him on the phone cause every message he left made me feel he was extremely irrational and to be honest I meet the guy for a drink and appetizer, I do not owe him anything!

This was my last email:
“Yes, I received your emails, your texts, and your messages. I am not interested please stop calling me, emailing me, and texting me. Before it becomes a problem.”

And you know he still had something to say….lol He replied:

“my pleasure im no longer interested as well, deleted all ties to you so you won't here from me any longer. Good luck with your independent life hope that works for you , in the future you prob should respond or b upfront with your sit. of being so busy and no always having 2 sec.s to respond to a txt which is a common courtesy by the way... Anywho you will learn more as time goes on and hopefully before you waist anybody else's time or money(which might freak out that person).”


All I have to say is what a loser! And a bad speller! Ladies trust your instincts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If someone seems one-off it is probably because they are :)