Until recently I never realized how lucky my family has been. Many people have a lot of terrible tragedies happen to them early in life. I had been very fortunate in my younger years that I never had to deal with death of a loved one that was not old or extremely sick. However these past few months have made me really grateful for my family and friends. They have made me realize how precious life is and that you can't take anything for granted.
This weekend my step-father's brother was killed. It was a tragic homicide that is all over the local news this week. All reveled evidence is pointing to his wife. How could a person do this? I just don't understand. My thoughts and prays go out to my extended family. I am so sorry for your loss.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/12042007/news/regionalnews/wife_named_suspect_in_si_fire_marshalls__483711.htm
RIP - Doug Mercereau
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I hate hotel room TV
So I am traveling for work (AGAIN) and this week I am in Fresno, CA. Although the weather is warmer then it is in NJ this week, Fresno is not the most happening place. In fact I feel like it is the middle of no-where. Thank God I am going home tomorrow!
Anyway tonight I was all set to enjoy my newest guilty pleasure on TV - Gossip Girl. I love this show, it is a decent replacement for my The OC, Beverly Hills type tv that I think I may always be addicted to. So I turn on the TV and start going through all the channels and this fucking place does not have the CW. WTF is up with that? I must have gone through the channels over a dozen times just to make sure I was not missing it. They have like 3 ESPNs, 2 HBOs, TBS, TNT, TLC, HGTV, FOOD, Discovery, a million news channels and yet no CW how is that possible?
So needless to say I am slightly annoyed, that was to be the highlight of my boring day. At least my trusty DVR at home will be recording this episode for me so I will not miss this weeks installment. Thank God for DVR, i don't know how a TV junkie like me survived so long without. You gotta love technology.
Anyway tonight I was all set to enjoy my newest guilty pleasure on TV - Gossip Girl. I love this show, it is a decent replacement for my The OC, Beverly Hills type tv that I think I may always be addicted to. So I turn on the TV and start going through all the channels and this fucking place does not have the CW. WTF is up with that? I must have gone through the channels over a dozen times just to make sure I was not missing it. They have like 3 ESPNs, 2 HBOs, TBS, TNT, TLC, HGTV, FOOD, Discovery, a million news channels and yet no CW how is that possible?
So needless to say I am slightly annoyed, that was to be the highlight of my boring day. At least my trusty DVR at home will be recording this episode for me so I will not miss this weeks installment. Thank God for DVR, i don't know how a TV junkie like me survived so long without. You gotta love technology.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
The best invention ever....
I recently got an iPhone. I traded in my American Express points for it. My sister Suzanne tells me I paid $70,000 for the thing, cause it was 71,000 points, but since I use my AMEX for work travel related expenses I consider my purchase to be free.
Let me tell you I would pay full price for this thing. It is AWESOME! I was already on Cingular/At&t so it was not a big deal to switch to this new phone and my piece of crap razor I was ready to throw out the window. I love my iPhone, it is the best invention in the world, I have everything I need at my fingertips. I can check my personal emails and even browse myspace while waiting in for my next flight out to Sacramento. If you love gadgets I highly recommend getting this baby. FABULOUS!!!
Let me tell you I would pay full price for this thing. It is AWESOME! I was already on Cingular/At&t so it was not a big deal to switch to this new phone and my piece of crap razor I was ready to throw out the window. I love my iPhone, it is the best invention in the world, I have everything I need at my fingertips. I can check my personal emails and even browse myspace while waiting in for my next flight out to Sacramento. If you love gadgets I highly recommend getting this baby. FABULOUS!!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Spread the word! A book by my friend Tim Clark
Hi everyone! My friend and co-worker Tim Clark has published his very first book!!! It is called Inspired Parenting: A Father's Ideas on Being a Dad.
Overview:
It is a job defined as one of the most important jobs in the world. You can get it without any experience at all. Once you have the job, you have it for life and may never know if you have done it right. You do not have to get a doctorate to become one or seek advanced degrees to prepare for the various stages of parenting. In today’s world there are various parenting skills and techniques that we are exposed to and influenced to use in the rearing of our children. But do people really examine themselves as to where their parenting skills come from? Can they pinpoint the influences that have affected decisions in the way they have chosen to raise their children?
It is available on Amazon.com or directly from the publisher Publish America. Please spread the word and/or buy one.
Thanks!
Alison
Overview:
It is a job defined as one of the most important jobs in the world. You can get it without any experience at all. Once you have the job, you have it for life and may never know if you have done it right. You do not have to get a doctorate to become one or seek advanced degrees to prepare for the various stages of parenting. In today’s world there are various parenting skills and techniques that we are exposed to and influenced to use in the rearing of our children. But do people really examine themselves as to where their parenting skills come from? Can they pinpoint the influences that have affected decisions in the way they have chosen to raise their children?
It is available on Amazon.com or directly from the publisher Publish America. Please spread the word and/or buy one.
Thanks!
Alison
VMA Drama and that Mess Britney Spears
OK I know everyone has probably heard enough about the drama at the VMAs this year, but I just have to comment for myself. First of all what a fucking mess that train wreck of a former pop star Britney is, and second WTF is up with Kid Rock and Tommy Lee getting in a fight? Most likely it was over their EX-Pamela! LMAO...what losers...
But back to Britney...can we just say Sarah Silverman nailed it on the head with the comment "she has accomplished everything she is going to"...ha-ha.... Britney who is not fat but normal people standards, but by celebrity standards is a sloppy fat mess with her stomach hanging out. Who would pick that outfit? Did she really think she looked hot?
And we all know she lip sings, but come on. The drag queens I saw labor day weekend at Lucky Chengs in Las Vegas did a better job then her (check it out) and they are only dancing for dollars…lol She had absolutely no energy, no pizzazz, did not even attempt to BRING IT to the highest level! For someone that wants to try to resurrect her career it does not seem she even cares to impress her fans or her peers. TRAIN WRECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss the old Britney…..
But back to Britney...can we just say Sarah Silverman nailed it on the head with the comment "she has accomplished everything she is going to"...ha-ha.... Britney who is not fat but normal people standards, but by celebrity standards is a sloppy fat mess with her stomach hanging out. Who would pick that outfit? Did she really think she looked hot?
And we all know she lip sings, but come on. The drag queens I saw labor day weekend at Lucky Chengs in Las Vegas did a better job then her (check it out) and they are only dancing for dollars…lol She had absolutely no energy, no pizzazz, did not even attempt to BRING IT to the highest level! For someone that wants to try to resurrect her career it does not seem she even cares to impress her fans or her peers. TRAIN WRECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss the old Britney…..
Monday, August 20, 2007
R.I.P. Ryan
Last week we lost a truly unique person. I remember Ryan when my sister Suzanne first became friends with him; he was a smart, quick-witted kid the kind of person you know is special even at twelve years old. One of my favorite memories of Ryan is when he came to my house with one of his friends to see if Suzanne was home but she was not, so instead he hung out with me and my best friend and we convinced him to throw Play-Doh at this mean old lady (Fat Nancy) that lived next door to us. We were not actually throwing it at her, we were throwing it at her mean dog, but it was soooo funny and boy did I get in trouble when Fat Nancy called my mom….lol
Another one of my favorite days with Ryan was the #1 Bitch Night! I had recently broken up with my loser boyfriend and was devastated. Suzanne, Daniela, and I were doing tequila shots, my shot glass sad “# 1 Bitch” on it and Ryan came by to hang out. I got very drunk that night, but I can’t remember laughing harder, Ryan helped take away some of my pain with his smiling face and his wonderful sense of humor. But that was Ryan; he was one of the funniest people I have ever met in my entire life. He could always make you smile, even when you were trying not to.
Ryan was friends with my sister for a lifetime before he became her boyfriend. He was a good friend and an even better boyfriend to my sister. They had so much fun together whether they were cooking dinner, traveling, attending a concert or baseball game, getting crafty, doing at home spa treatments, carving pumpkins, or watching TV. Ryan made an ordinary day extraordinary and we were all lucky to have him in our lives, even for this short period of time. Ryan you will be missed.
Another one of my favorite days with Ryan was the #1 Bitch Night! I had recently broken up with my loser boyfriend and was devastated. Suzanne, Daniela, and I were doing tequila shots, my shot glass sad “# 1 Bitch” on it and Ryan came by to hang out. I got very drunk that night, but I can’t remember laughing harder, Ryan helped take away some of my pain with his smiling face and his wonderful sense of humor. But that was Ryan; he was one of the funniest people I have ever met in my entire life. He could always make you smile, even when you were trying not to.
Ryan was friends with my sister for a lifetime before he became her boyfriend. He was a good friend and an even better boyfriend to my sister. They had so much fun together whether they were cooking dinner, traveling, attending a concert or baseball game, getting crafty, doing at home spa treatments, carving pumpkins, or watching TV. Ryan made an ordinary day extraordinary and we were all lucky to have him in our lives, even for this short period of time. Ryan you will be missed.
R.I.P
Ryan W. Allison
8/17/1977 - 8/13/2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
WTF...Another Celebrity gets let off easy
Today Nicole Richie got sentenced to 4 days in jail for her DUI back in December when she was driving down the freeway on the wrong side of the road. Man did she get off easy, not only is it only 4 days but she can choose between a city and county jail. I am sure Beverly Hills city jail is a much better choice then LA county jail...if that was me or you we would probably go to county jail for 60 days...lol
Nicole Richie Sentenced, Fined for DUI
Jul 27, 1:10 PM EST
Video: Richie gets 4 days in jail
The Associated Press
GLENDALE, Calif. -- Nicole Richie pleaded guilty Friday to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to about four days in jail and fined by a court commissioner who said she was lucky nobody was killed when she drove the wrong way on a freeway.
Richie, the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie, was subdued and somber as she was lectured about her driving. She entered court on the arm of boyfriend Joel Madden.
Richie, who's rumored to be pregnant but has not confirmed it, wore a loose-fitting, knee-length black dress and spiked heels. She stood before the judge and softly answered "guilty" when asked how she pleaded to the misdemeanor charge. She initially pleaded not guilty in February.
Nicole Richie photos
She nodded when asked if she understood terms of the plea agreement (including 90 hours in jail and a fine of $2,048) worked out between her lawyers and prosecutors. Superior Court Commissioner Steven K. Lubell also gave Richie three years of probation and warned that she would go to county jail for a year if she violates it.
She must complete her sentence by Sept. 28. She can serve it in either a city or a county jail.
She was ordered to enroll in a drug and alcohol program and must prove that she has completed it when she returns to court on Feb. 20, 2008.
"You are not to drive with any measurable amount of alcohol or drugs in your system," Lubell told her. "You are not to drive without a driver's license."
He said the state Department of Motor Vehicles would decide whether to suspend her license.
"You are very lucky that no one was hurt or killed as the result of this incident," Lubell said.
Richie was arrested early on Dec. 11 after witnesses reported seeing her black Mercedes-Benz sport utility vehicle headed the wrong way on a freeway in Burbank.
The California Highway Patrol said they found her parked in the car pool lane.
Richie told authorities she had smoked marijuana and taken the prescription painkiller Vicodin, a CHP officer said at the time.
No drugs were found on her or in the car.
Lubell warned Richie of the dangers of driving under the influence and said: "The facts of this case, as the court knows it, is pretty scary.
Someone could have gotten killed or injured. The court does not want anything to happen to you.
"If you continue to drive while under the influence of drugs or alcohol and someone gets killed, you can be charged with murder, not manslaughter.
"I hope that never, ever happens."
He said such a murder charge would come under a specific legal provision because she now has two convictions, the first one in June 2003 when she was convicted for driving under the influence of alcohol. The 2003 conviction made her eligible for a sentence of 90 days to a year in jail.
The reality TV star's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holly, acknowledged to the court that the plea bargain reached with the prosecution was acceptable.
Richie made no comment to reporters as she left the courthouse, surrounded by private bodyguards.
Richie's jail sentence follows that of Paris Hilton, her co-star on the reality TV show "The Simple Life."
Hilton recently was released after spending about 23 days in custody for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.
Nicole Richie Sentenced, Fined for DUI
Jul 27, 1:10 PM EST
Video: Richie gets 4 days in jail
The Associated Press
GLENDALE, Calif. -- Nicole Richie pleaded guilty Friday to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to about four days in jail and fined by a court commissioner who said she was lucky nobody was killed when she drove the wrong way on a freeway.
Richie, the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie, was subdued and somber as she was lectured about her driving. She entered court on the arm of boyfriend Joel Madden.
Richie, who's rumored to be pregnant but has not confirmed it, wore a loose-fitting, knee-length black dress and spiked heels. She stood before the judge and softly answered "guilty" when asked how she pleaded to the misdemeanor charge. She initially pleaded not guilty in February.
Nicole Richie photos
She nodded when asked if she understood terms of the plea agreement (including 90 hours in jail and a fine of $2,048) worked out between her lawyers and prosecutors. Superior Court Commissioner Steven K. Lubell also gave Richie three years of probation and warned that she would go to county jail for a year if she violates it.
She must complete her sentence by Sept. 28. She can serve it in either a city or a county jail.
She was ordered to enroll in a drug and alcohol program and must prove that she has completed it when she returns to court on Feb. 20, 2008.
"You are not to drive with any measurable amount of alcohol or drugs in your system," Lubell told her. "You are not to drive without a driver's license."
He said the state Department of Motor Vehicles would decide whether to suspend her license.
"You are very lucky that no one was hurt or killed as the result of this incident," Lubell said.
Richie was arrested early on Dec. 11 after witnesses reported seeing her black Mercedes-Benz sport utility vehicle headed the wrong way on a freeway in Burbank.
The California Highway Patrol said they found her parked in the car pool lane.
Richie told authorities she had smoked marijuana and taken the prescription painkiller Vicodin, a CHP officer said at the time.
No drugs were found on her or in the car.
Lubell warned Richie of the dangers of driving under the influence and said: "The facts of this case, as the court knows it, is pretty scary.
Someone could have gotten killed or injured. The court does not want anything to happen to you.
"If you continue to drive while under the influence of drugs or alcohol and someone gets killed, you can be charged with murder, not manslaughter.
"I hope that never, ever happens."
He said such a murder charge would come under a specific legal provision because she now has two convictions, the first one in June 2003 when she was convicted for driving under the influence of alcohol. The 2003 conviction made her eligible for a sentence of 90 days to a year in jail.
The reality TV star's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holly, acknowledged to the court that the plea bargain reached with the prosecution was acceptable.
Richie made no comment to reporters as she left the courthouse, surrounded by private bodyguards.
Richie's jail sentence follows that of Paris Hilton, her co-star on the reality TV show "The Simple Life."
Hilton recently was released after spending about 23 days in custody for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.
Monday, July 09, 2007
11-year-old charged with driving drunk
Wow, just when I thought I heard it all, this must be a relative of Lindsay Lohan.
MIAMI (Reuters) - An 11-year-old girl was charged with drunken driving after leading police on a chase at speeds of up to 100 mph that ended when she flipped the car in an Alabama beach town.
A video camera in the police car captured the look of surprise on the officer's face when he approached the wrecked car and got a look at the motorist.
The Mobile Press-Register newspaper said the patrolman saw the Chevrolet Monte Carlo speeding and flashed his lights to signal the driver to stop. Instead, the car sped faster, traveling at up to 100 mph (160 kph) before sideswiping another vehicle and flipping over in the Gulf Coast town of Orange Beach, Alabama, on Tuesday night.
The young driver, who lived nearby in Perdido Key, Florida, was treated at a hospital for scrapes and bruises and released to relatives. Police also charged her with speeding, leaving the scene of an accident and reckless endangerment.
The car belonged to a relative and police were still trying to find out where she got the alcohol. There was none in the vehicle but her blood alcohol level was over the limit for adult motorists, police told the newspaper.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN7643378320070706?feedType=RSS
MIAMI (Reuters) - An 11-year-old girl was charged with drunken driving after leading police on a chase at speeds of up to 100 mph that ended when she flipped the car in an Alabama beach town.
A video camera in the police car captured the look of surprise on the officer's face when he approached the wrecked car and got a look at the motorist.
The Mobile Press-Register newspaper said the patrolman saw the Chevrolet Monte Carlo speeding and flashed his lights to signal the driver to stop. Instead, the car sped faster, traveling at up to 100 mph (160 kph) before sideswiping another vehicle and flipping over in the Gulf Coast town of Orange Beach, Alabama, on Tuesday night.
The young driver, who lived nearby in Perdido Key, Florida, was treated at a hospital for scrapes and bruises and released to relatives. Police also charged her with speeding, leaving the scene of an accident and reckless endangerment.
The car belonged to a relative and police were still trying to find out where she got the alcohol. There was none in the vehicle but her blood alcohol level was over the limit for adult motorists, police told the newspaper.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN7643378320070706?feedType=RSS
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Hmmm..maybe i am not unorganized...
Came across this article 'Is a messy desk a good thing?' on CCN.com and thought this piece was worth re-posting for anyone that always has a ton of papers on thier desks.
"The Surprise Benefits of Messiness
Attaining complete neatness and order may only be an illusion.
Following rigid organizational systems and living life driven by a day planner means you're operating with blinders on.
Many new discoveries, inventions and creative projects are the result of sheer happenstance or inadvertently veering off in an unexpected direction. If you don't inject a little disorder in your life you mostly likely will miss out on the serendipity of an unplanned success."
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/04/30/cb.mess/index.html
"The Surprise Benefits of Messiness
Attaining complete neatness and order may only be an illusion.
Following rigid organizational systems and living life driven by a day planner means you're operating with blinders on.
Many new discoveries, inventions and creative projects are the result of sheer happenstance or inadvertently veering off in an unexpected direction. If you don't inject a little disorder in your life you mostly likely will miss out on the serendipity of an unplanned success."
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/04/30/cb.mess/index.html
Where the singles are...
A few weeks ago while surfing the internet I came across this information. This is from National Geographic's February 2007 issue. It shows the amount of single men and women across the country. Single men on the east coast should count themselves lucky, in the NYC-Newark area there are 185,000 more single women then men. This is explains why some of us are still single...lol The most single men seem to be on the west coast, in fact in LA-Long Beach-Santa Ana there are 40,000 more single men then women.
It looks like I may have to move to the west coast... :)
It looks like I may have to move to the west coast... :)
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
What part of 'NO' don't you understand?
My friend (who shall remain nameless) was out for dinner with another friend, both of whom are married. They meet this man at the bar while waiting for their table. They chatted for a bit and he told them how he was single and just has not found the right women as of yet. My friend thought he was nice and suggested setting him up with me. She took his card and emailed me the information. Since I have been single for a while and have just not meet 'the one' that does it for me I decided what the heck. I mean you never know, stranger things have happened right?
So after a series of emails and phone tag situations me and Mr. C finally touched base. I talked to him on a Saturday and told him I would meet him for a drink later that week – preferably Tuesday or Wednesday, not to coincide with my Monday night yoga class J we talked on Monday and I told him Wednesday worked best for me. We agreed to meet around 5:30 at Echo in Red Bank. Since this was a blind date I did not know what to expect.
So went there, meet him not exactly my type – looked like a much 'older' 37, but hell you never know. So I ordered my drink Grey Goose and tonic and he made some kind of comment about my drink. He was drinking wine, explained to me that he likes to drink wine when he is with a lady, but beer with the guys. So we drank and talked a bit and he asked if I wanted to order an appetizer. I asked him want he liked and he said 'get anything you want' when I suggested ordering the sampler ($30) he was like "that might be too much". So I said ok how about the spring rolls and the BBQ shrimp – he seemed kind of hesitant, I told him the spring rolls would probably not be enough. So he said ok I ordered the appetizers, and then we made small talk. He seemed a little strange to me, asked some questions that where – well questionable…. He asked me if I was into drugs – like coke or heroin, and then implied he still smoked pot on a regular basis. I told him I am not into drugs at all and that they were not my thing. In addition during our 'date' he went to the bathroom twice and was gone for quite awhile which led me to think he either has a digestive problem or was snorting or shooting up in the bathroom, especially when he came back and seemed much more talkative and touchy-feely. But I blew it off as nervousness.
The date ended and before I headed home he asked if I would go out with him again and I said ‘sure’. So he kissed my cheek and we each went home.
The next day he sent a txt message to my phone “Had fun, have a great day :) are you interested in going forward, yes?” this was sent at 12:05 pm. I had a busy day and did not see this txt until leaving work on my way to yoga. While in my yoga class I received another txt from him at 6:15 pm “U thinking or just busy? I txted u at 12 noon” Did not respond to this because I was motified - who does that after just meeting a person?
Then the next morning at 9:40 am another txt “Hey u get my txts? Or not." I sent him back a text saying “I was busy and I am thinking No”. Received a txt back “Huh, OK care 2 let me know why? Just thought you said u wanted 2”. At this point I was tired of the txt messages, but did not want to speak to him in person. So I sent him this email:
“C,
I thought I should explain this in a better way then over a text message. I thought you were nice and would go out with you again. However, I am an extremely independent person and my career, part time school, and full social life keeps me very busy, sometimes I do not respond to text messages or phone calls immediately. I do not carry my cell around with me at work, sometimes I don't look at it all day. And when you sent the message last night questioning why i did not respond to you, it freaked me out. I don't do well with people questioning my whereabouts and quite frankly I just meet you and if you are this persistent after an initial meeting, I just don't feel it would work with my lifestyle. Good luck to you though, you seem like a nice person.
A”
Received this email back:
“i am extremely busy with my lifestyle too and by no means did i mean to question your whereabouts. thats silly talk, i can care less where or what you where doing it's none of my business nor mine to you, wasn't asking that, just was curious if we both had the same feeling is all. think you jumped the gun alittle on me i am not the possessive type nor the up you but type sorry bad read on that just was looking for a quick resp. on the positive side and was a little impatient but didn't think it warranted you to freak out . Do you want to rethink that one or did you give up already? I think we can work through that misunderstanding no biggie on my end. Good company is hard to find and i really want to get to know you better i hope you agree ."
I did not respond and received this email later that day:
“hey just call me prefer or txt me your response as to going forward whenever you can i won't txt or call until you let me know if we are gonna hang again, because i won't see my work email til mon., leaving for the day for a appt. fri 3pm. :)”
Did not respond and received a phone call on Sunday – he left a voicemail asking me to call him. I ignored it, once again.... i thought I made myself clear with the first email.
Got this email on Monday:
“did you get my email fri.?”
Did not respond and received another voicemail about 5:30 pm Monday night. He is basically begging me to call him and give him ‘2 minutes’ Like if I did not already think he was psycho he would be able to convince me to go out with him again.
Did not respond and he called again on Monday about 9pm – did not leave a voicemail.
Tuesday morning I decided to send him another email explaining that I am not interested. I could not bear to talk to him on the phone cause every message he left made me feel he was extremely irrational and to be honest I meet the guy for a drink and appetizer, I do not owe him anything!
This was my last email:
“Yes, I received your emails, your texts, and your messages. I am not interested please stop calling me, emailing me, and texting me. Before it becomes a problem.”
And you know he still had something to say….lol He replied:
“my pleasure im no longer interested as well, deleted all ties to you so you won't here from me any longer. Good luck with your independent life hope that works for you , in the future you prob should respond or b upfront with your sit. of being so busy and no always having 2 sec.s to respond to a txt which is a common courtesy by the way... Anywho you will learn more as time goes on and hopefully before you waist anybody else's time or money(which might freak out that person).”
All I have to say is what a loser! And a bad speller! Ladies trust your instincts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If someone seems one-off it is probably because they are :)
So after a series of emails and phone tag situations me and Mr. C finally touched base. I talked to him on a Saturday and told him I would meet him for a drink later that week – preferably Tuesday or Wednesday, not to coincide with my Monday night yoga class J we talked on Monday and I told him Wednesday worked best for me. We agreed to meet around 5:30 at Echo in Red Bank. Since this was a blind date I did not know what to expect.
So went there, meet him not exactly my type – looked like a much 'older' 37, but hell you never know. So I ordered my drink Grey Goose and tonic and he made some kind of comment about my drink. He was drinking wine, explained to me that he likes to drink wine when he is with a lady, but beer with the guys. So we drank and talked a bit and he asked if I wanted to order an appetizer. I asked him want he liked and he said 'get anything you want' when I suggested ordering the sampler ($30) he was like "that might be too much". So I said ok how about the spring rolls and the BBQ shrimp – he seemed kind of hesitant, I told him the spring rolls would probably not be enough. So he said ok I ordered the appetizers, and then we made small talk. He seemed a little strange to me, asked some questions that where – well questionable…. He asked me if I was into drugs – like coke or heroin, and then implied he still smoked pot on a regular basis. I told him I am not into drugs at all and that they were not my thing. In addition during our 'date' he went to the bathroom twice and was gone for quite awhile which led me to think he either has a digestive problem or was snorting or shooting up in the bathroom, especially when he came back and seemed much more talkative and touchy-feely. But I blew it off as nervousness.
The date ended and before I headed home he asked if I would go out with him again and I said ‘sure’. So he kissed my cheek and we each went home.
The next day he sent a txt message to my phone “Had fun, have a great day :) are you interested in going forward, yes?” this was sent at 12:05 pm. I had a busy day and did not see this txt until leaving work on my way to yoga. While in my yoga class I received another txt from him at 6:15 pm “U thinking or just busy? I txted u at 12 noon” Did not respond to this because I was motified - who does that after just meeting a person?
Then the next morning at 9:40 am another txt “Hey u get my txts? Or not." I sent him back a text saying “I was busy and I am thinking No”. Received a txt back “Huh, OK care 2 let me know why? Just thought you said u wanted 2”. At this point I was tired of the txt messages, but did not want to speak to him in person. So I sent him this email:
“C,
I thought I should explain this in a better way then over a text message. I thought you were nice and would go out with you again. However, I am an extremely independent person and my career, part time school, and full social life keeps me very busy, sometimes I do not respond to text messages or phone calls immediately. I do not carry my cell around with me at work, sometimes I don't look at it all day. And when you sent the message last night questioning why i did not respond to you, it freaked me out. I don't do well with people questioning my whereabouts and quite frankly I just meet you and if you are this persistent after an initial meeting, I just don't feel it would work with my lifestyle. Good luck to you though, you seem like a nice person.
A”
Received this email back:
“i am extremely busy with my lifestyle too and by no means did i mean to question your whereabouts. thats silly talk, i can care less where or what you where doing it's none of my business nor mine to you, wasn't asking that, just was curious if we both had the same feeling is all. think you jumped the gun alittle on me i am not the possessive type nor the up you but type sorry bad read on that just was looking for a quick resp. on the positive side and was a little impatient but didn't think it warranted you to freak out . Do you want to rethink that one or did you give up already? I think we can work through that misunderstanding no biggie on my end. Good company is hard to find and i really want to get to know you better i hope you agree ."
I did not respond and received this email later that day:
“hey just call me prefer or txt me your response as to going forward whenever you can i won't txt or call until you let me know if we are gonna hang again, because i won't see my work email til mon., leaving for the day for a appt. fri 3pm. :)”
Did not respond and received a phone call on Sunday – he left a voicemail asking me to call him. I ignored it, once again.... i thought I made myself clear with the first email.
Got this email on Monday:
“did you get my email fri.?”
Did not respond and received another voicemail about 5:30 pm Monday night. He is basically begging me to call him and give him ‘2 minutes’ Like if I did not already think he was psycho he would be able to convince me to go out with him again.
Did not respond and he called again on Monday about 9pm – did not leave a voicemail.
Tuesday morning I decided to send him another email explaining that I am not interested. I could not bear to talk to him on the phone cause every message he left made me feel he was extremely irrational and to be honest I meet the guy for a drink and appetizer, I do not owe him anything!
This was my last email:
“Yes, I received your emails, your texts, and your messages. I am not interested please stop calling me, emailing me, and texting me. Before it becomes a problem.”
And you know he still had something to say….lol He replied:
“my pleasure im no longer interested as well, deleted all ties to you so you won't here from me any longer. Good luck with your independent life hope that works for you , in the future you prob should respond or b upfront with your sit. of being so busy and no always having 2 sec.s to respond to a txt which is a common courtesy by the way... Anywho you will learn more as time goes on and hopefully before you waist anybody else's time or money(which might freak out that person).”
All I have to say is what a loser! And a bad speller! Ladies trust your instincts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If someone seems one-off it is probably because they are :)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
This is promising for single women
I read this article today and had to re-post. It made me very hopefull, one day I will be able to afford my own home in NJ by myself....lol
Dream house, sans spouse: More women buy homes
By Noelle Knox, USA TODAY
Karen Phelan remembers how scared she was when she bought her first home 10 years ago. Newly divorced and broke, she'd saved for a year for a down payment on a modest house.
Karen Phelan at her Reno home, the second she has bought on her own.
By David Calvert for USA TODAY
"I just got tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along and start the American dream," says Phelan, who owns her own company, which resells time-shares. Last year, she sold that house and bought a larger one in a gated golf-course community in Reno.
"They're kind of like emotional trophies," says Phelan, 43. "It's symbolic of success — of getting out there and doing it on my own and saying, 'I'm just as capable of doing it as the next person and doing it on my own and making it.' "
A lot of other women seem to feel the same way. Last year, single women snapped up one of every five homes sold. That's nearly 1.5 million, if you're counting — more than twice as many as single men bought, according to the National Association of Realtors.
The trend is striking, because in 1981, the number of single women and single men home buyers was virtually the same. Since then, the percentage of buyers who are single women has almost doubled, while the percentage of single men buyers slipped 1 percentage point to 9% last year.
By David Calvert for USA TODAY
Buying her first house "was really scary," Phelan says.
This rise of single-women homeowners is part of a greater social and economic shift that is reshaping American life.
"For the first time in history, women have access to the same resources men have always had — money, social status, power," says Donald Hantula, professor of organizational psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia.
"Women can go and acquire them on their own rather than searching for a mate to provide them. These demographic and social changes are not in line with how we adapted in the hunter-gatherer era."
This trend is forcing changes in real estate. The building industry is beginning to add features to homes with women in mind. Mortgage lenders are doing more to help women qualify for loans.
"There have been so many advances and innovations in the market to respond to them," says Regina Lowrie, chairman of the Mortgage Bankers Association and the first woman to hold that post.
Some of the most critical demographic changes that have opened up the real estate market to women include:
SINGLE WOMEN ARE BUYING
•Women (and men) are marrying later. On average, women now wait until they're nearly 26 to walk down the aisle, about six years later than in 1960, according to Census data. On average, men today marry at age 27, an increase of five years in that same period.
•Divorce. A Census study showed that 73% of women who married between 1980 and 1984 reached their 10th anniversary, compared with 90% of women who married between 1945 and 1949. Still, as many as half of new marriages end in divorce.
•Women tend to live longer than men. The average man will die at 74, giving the average widow (who'll die at 79) five more years to buy a home on her own.
"The large pool of unmarried individuals reduces the social weight of marriage, in economics and politics," says Stephanie Coontz, professor of history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash. "It creates tastes, habits and expectations, as well as voting blocs not tied to the role of wife or husband."
Unmarried women have more money than ever.
In part,that's because more women than men are going to college. Men have been the minority on college campuses since the 1970s, and they now make up just 44% of the student body. There are more women than ever on the job — 46% of the workforce — and the pay gap with men is closing.
The rush of single women to buy homes is impressive, coming after decades of sex discrimination by banks and real estate agents.
Before 1974, when Congress amended the Fair Housing Act to stop sex discrimination, it was hard for single women to get a mortgage, or even a credit card, in their own names.
If a woman was married, her income was usually discounted on a loan application, Coontz recalls, because the bank assumed she would stop working once she had children.
Those days are gone. Today, mortgage companies offer products to help low-income applicants qualify for loans.
Single moms and homes
Women, in particular, benefit because 25% of single mothers spend more than half their income on housing, compared with 10% of single fathers who do, according to the Joint Center for Housing Studies at Harvard University.
When Patty Tarling became a single parent, she was 20. She then struggled for 15 years before she could buy her first home in Hillsboro, Ore. Borrowing against her 401(k) retirement plan, she put down 3% of the home price and received a loan insured by the Federal Housing Administration.
Last year, Tarling sold that home and moved to a suburb of Sacramento, where she's an office manager for a mortgage lender. She bought a three-bedroom, two-bath house.
"I did 100% financing, because the security of having a big cushion in savings and other investments is huge for me after living paycheck to paycheck for most of my life," says Tarling, now 40.
Owning a home "is the biggest accomplishment I've had — I'm just elated by it. Aside from your child, just the sense of confidence and self-worth you have to say you own your home is just huge."
Tarling concedes it's a little intimidating for her boyfriend, who was displaced by Hurricane Katrina and now lives with her.
"It's just a step," she says. "If we get married or something, we'll buy a place together."
Because of new government loan criteria, many lenders will now help single women in several ways. They will:
• Let women count child support from an ex-husband as income to help qualify for loans.
• Consider divorced women as first-time buyers,even if they bought homes with their former husbands, so the women can qualify for further help. First-time home buyers can often receive down payment assistance or low-down payment loans.
• Let women use some alternative forms of credit history, such as their phone bill record, in case they never had credit in their own names, says Lowrie of the Mortgage Bankers Association.
Single women home buyers often need help because their median income is $47,315 a year — 20% less than for single men buyers.
Buying the first condo
Sarah Van Elderen, 23, who graduated last year from Grand Valley State University in Allendale, Mich., doesn't make that much money. Still, she bought her first condo in Grand Rapids, Mich., with a fixed-rate, no-down payment loan for first-time home buyers.
(No-money-down loans can be risky if home prices in the area decline, and the owner needs to sell.)
She's proud of her first condo, even though she says, "The reaction of my 94-year-old grandma was, 'You're going to end up single if you buy a house yourself.' "
Actually, the rising number of single women homeowners could change the dating scene completely, says Hantula of Temple University.
"Houses are a great source of wealth, and as women are buying and holding onto them, they will gain greater equity and become less dependent on male partners for material assets and protection," Hantula says.
"Over the long term, women will become pickier, more choosy. They will look beyond an asset-based mating decision. ... Characteristics like emotional stability and other kinds of compatibility will become more important."
Apparently, home builders also want to be more attractive to single women buyers now. They're designing homes with features preferred by women.
"Women want more security than men, and less maintenance," says Anthony Perry, co-owner of Oakwood Homes, a developer in Woodstock, Ga.
"It's just doesn't matter to men as much. We're putting in flat-screen TVs for the guys."
Among the amenities Perry adds with women in mind: a courtyard design that provides a stronger sense of security, gated communities and twice as many street lights.
He also adds larger closets and energy-efficient appliances, which he thinks matter more to women. He also provides maintenance services for his home buyers. "We water outside the courtyard, mow the grass out front — we even change the heating and cooling filters," he says.
Asked why he thinks so few single men buy homes, Perry replies: "Men do it when we get married. Until then, we're just out running around."
Tommie Livatino, a high school basketball coach in Chicago, is one of the rare single-male home buyers.
"Every time I bought a piece of property, I always saw it as an investment first, and a way to keep living with my friends," says Livatino, 36.
He rented out rooms to his friends in his first house and bought his second and third homes with friends. Why does he think more single women buy homes than single men?
"Maybe women are much more intelligent than men," he says.
A professor's theory
Historically, men have always had access to the resources to provide shelter and don't have the same imperative, says Hantula, the organizational psychology professor.
"Throughout our evolutionary history, access to shelter was more the province of men than women. You take the hunter and gatherer into the 21st century, and men say, 'I don't need to go buy shelter, because if I need it, I can get it.' Whereas the woman is saying, 'If I have the chance, I better get it while I can.' "
Pat Spalding, 54, who is single and lives in Lakeland, Fla., sold her home and bought a nicer one last year. She recalls how a single male colleague had a very different reaction to buying a home.
"He needed to buy a home for the tax shelter, but he said, 'If I want to get up and leave, I don't want to have something to sell,' " recalls Spalding, who works in the real estate division of Central Florida Gas.
"But I need the security. I own this. ... And I don't want to depend on anyone for anything, and men don't seem to care about that."
The trend toward single women home buyers might be socially unsettling in the short term, Hantula notes.
And for women home buyers — who are doing something that their mothers had to fight to do — purchasing their first home can be personally unsettling, too.
"The first experience was really scary for me," Phelan says.
"I'm not going to candy-coat it. I don't think any woman out there is going to tell you the first purchase going solo is easy, because it's a huge investment."
http://www.usatoday.com/money/2006-02-14-women-houses-usat_x.htm
Dream house, sans spouse: More women buy homes
By Noelle Knox, USA TODAY
Karen Phelan remembers how scared she was when she bought her first home 10 years ago. Newly divorced and broke, she'd saved for a year for a down payment on a modest house.
Karen Phelan at her Reno home, the second she has bought on her own.
By David Calvert for USA TODAY
"I just got tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along and start the American dream," says Phelan, who owns her own company, which resells time-shares. Last year, she sold that house and bought a larger one in a gated golf-course community in Reno.
"They're kind of like emotional trophies," says Phelan, 43. "It's symbolic of success — of getting out there and doing it on my own and saying, 'I'm just as capable of doing it as the next person and doing it on my own and making it.' "
A lot of other women seem to feel the same way. Last year, single women snapped up one of every five homes sold. That's nearly 1.5 million, if you're counting — more than twice as many as single men bought, according to the National Association of Realtors.
The trend is striking, because in 1981, the number of single women and single men home buyers was virtually the same. Since then, the percentage of buyers who are single women has almost doubled, while the percentage of single men buyers slipped 1 percentage point to 9% last year.
By David Calvert for USA TODAY
Buying her first house "was really scary," Phelan says.
This rise of single-women homeowners is part of a greater social and economic shift that is reshaping American life.
"For the first time in history, women have access to the same resources men have always had — money, social status, power," says Donald Hantula, professor of organizational psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia.
"Women can go and acquire them on their own rather than searching for a mate to provide them. These demographic and social changes are not in line with how we adapted in the hunter-gatherer era."
This trend is forcing changes in real estate. The building industry is beginning to add features to homes with women in mind. Mortgage lenders are doing more to help women qualify for loans.
"There have been so many advances and innovations in the market to respond to them," says Regina Lowrie, chairman of the Mortgage Bankers Association and the first woman to hold that post.
Some of the most critical demographic changes that have opened up the real estate market to women include:
SINGLE WOMEN ARE BUYING
•Women (and men) are marrying later. On average, women now wait until they're nearly 26 to walk down the aisle, about six years later than in 1960, according to Census data. On average, men today marry at age 27, an increase of five years in that same period.
•Divorce. A Census study showed that 73% of women who married between 1980 and 1984 reached their 10th anniversary, compared with 90% of women who married between 1945 and 1949. Still, as many as half of new marriages end in divorce.
•Women tend to live longer than men. The average man will die at 74, giving the average widow (who'll die at 79) five more years to buy a home on her own.
"The large pool of unmarried individuals reduces the social weight of marriage, in economics and politics," says Stephanie Coontz, professor of history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash. "It creates tastes, habits and expectations, as well as voting blocs not tied to the role of wife or husband."
Unmarried women have more money than ever.
In part,that's because more women than men are going to college. Men have been the minority on college campuses since the 1970s, and they now make up just 44% of the student body. There are more women than ever on the job — 46% of the workforce — and the pay gap with men is closing.
The rush of single women to buy homes is impressive, coming after decades of sex discrimination by banks and real estate agents.
Before 1974, when Congress amended the Fair Housing Act to stop sex discrimination, it was hard for single women to get a mortgage, or even a credit card, in their own names.
If a woman was married, her income was usually discounted on a loan application, Coontz recalls, because the bank assumed she would stop working once she had children.
Those days are gone. Today, mortgage companies offer products to help low-income applicants qualify for loans.
Single moms and homes
Women, in particular, benefit because 25% of single mothers spend more than half their income on housing, compared with 10% of single fathers who do, according to the Joint Center for Housing Studies at Harvard University.
When Patty Tarling became a single parent, she was 20. She then struggled for 15 years before she could buy her first home in Hillsboro, Ore. Borrowing against her 401(k) retirement plan, she put down 3% of the home price and received a loan insured by the Federal Housing Administration.
Last year, Tarling sold that home and moved to a suburb of Sacramento, where she's an office manager for a mortgage lender. She bought a three-bedroom, two-bath house.
"I did 100% financing, because the security of having a big cushion in savings and other investments is huge for me after living paycheck to paycheck for most of my life," says Tarling, now 40.
Owning a home "is the biggest accomplishment I've had — I'm just elated by it. Aside from your child, just the sense of confidence and self-worth you have to say you own your home is just huge."
Tarling concedes it's a little intimidating for her boyfriend, who was displaced by Hurricane Katrina and now lives with her.
"It's just a step," she says. "If we get married or something, we'll buy a place together."
Because of new government loan criteria, many lenders will now help single women in several ways. They will:
• Let women count child support from an ex-husband as income to help qualify for loans.
• Consider divorced women as first-time buyers,even if they bought homes with their former husbands, so the women can qualify for further help. First-time home buyers can often receive down payment assistance or low-down payment loans.
• Let women use some alternative forms of credit history, such as their phone bill record, in case they never had credit in their own names, says Lowrie of the Mortgage Bankers Association.
Single women home buyers often need help because their median income is $47,315 a year — 20% less than for single men buyers.
Buying the first condo
Sarah Van Elderen, 23, who graduated last year from Grand Valley State University in Allendale, Mich., doesn't make that much money. Still, she bought her first condo in Grand Rapids, Mich., with a fixed-rate, no-down payment loan for first-time home buyers.
(No-money-down loans can be risky if home prices in the area decline, and the owner needs to sell.)
She's proud of her first condo, even though she says, "The reaction of my 94-year-old grandma was, 'You're going to end up single if you buy a house yourself.' "
Actually, the rising number of single women homeowners could change the dating scene completely, says Hantula of Temple University.
"Houses are a great source of wealth, and as women are buying and holding onto them, they will gain greater equity and become less dependent on male partners for material assets and protection," Hantula says.
"Over the long term, women will become pickier, more choosy. They will look beyond an asset-based mating decision. ... Characteristics like emotional stability and other kinds of compatibility will become more important."
Apparently, home builders also want to be more attractive to single women buyers now. They're designing homes with features preferred by women.
"Women want more security than men, and less maintenance," says Anthony Perry, co-owner of Oakwood Homes, a developer in Woodstock, Ga.
"It's just doesn't matter to men as much. We're putting in flat-screen TVs for the guys."
Among the amenities Perry adds with women in mind: a courtyard design that provides a stronger sense of security, gated communities and twice as many street lights.
He also adds larger closets and energy-efficient appliances, which he thinks matter more to women. He also provides maintenance services for his home buyers. "We water outside the courtyard, mow the grass out front — we even change the heating and cooling filters," he says.
Asked why he thinks so few single men buy homes, Perry replies: "Men do it when we get married. Until then, we're just out running around."
Tommie Livatino, a high school basketball coach in Chicago, is one of the rare single-male home buyers.
"Every time I bought a piece of property, I always saw it as an investment first, and a way to keep living with my friends," says Livatino, 36.
He rented out rooms to his friends in his first house and bought his second and third homes with friends. Why does he think more single women buy homes than single men?
"Maybe women are much more intelligent than men," he says.
A professor's theory
Historically, men have always had access to the resources to provide shelter and don't have the same imperative, says Hantula, the organizational psychology professor.
"Throughout our evolutionary history, access to shelter was more the province of men than women. You take the hunter and gatherer into the 21st century, and men say, 'I don't need to go buy shelter, because if I need it, I can get it.' Whereas the woman is saying, 'If I have the chance, I better get it while I can.' "
Pat Spalding, 54, who is single and lives in Lakeland, Fla., sold her home and bought a nicer one last year. She recalls how a single male colleague had a very different reaction to buying a home.
"He needed to buy a home for the tax shelter, but he said, 'If I want to get up and leave, I don't want to have something to sell,' " recalls Spalding, who works in the real estate division of Central Florida Gas.
"But I need the security. I own this. ... And I don't want to depend on anyone for anything, and men don't seem to care about that."
The trend toward single women home buyers might be socially unsettling in the short term, Hantula notes.
And for women home buyers — who are doing something that their mothers had to fight to do — purchasing their first home can be personally unsettling, too.
"The first experience was really scary for me," Phelan says.
"I'm not going to candy-coat it. I don't think any woman out there is going to tell you the first purchase going solo is easy, because it's a huge investment."
http://www.usatoday.com/money/2006-02-14-women-houses-usat_x.htm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)